I Was Scared To Try On Wedding Dresses–So I Asked Instagram For Help
A few weeks ago, I shared on my stories that I was experiencing anxiety about trying on wedding dresses. I was honest and opened up about my body insecurities, feeling intimidated, and completely lost in exactly how to go about “finding the dress”. I wasn’t sure if anyone would ever respond, or even feel the same way. Let me just say, I was blown away by the resounding response I got.
It turns out, so many people feel the exact same way.
Before I dive in, I just want to say I know how polarizing wedding chat is. Some people love it, others want nothing to do with it. As a woman, who constantly finds herself in dressing rooms staring into a mirror that doesn’t love her back, I can tell you that this info isn’t only for brides. It’s for anyone who has ever felt intimidated by an industry or societal standard to fit a mold.
Prior to opening up to IG, I hunted for articles and blogs to help motivate and guide me to feel like a “confident bride” while dress shopping. Now I know how that sounds…you’re getting married–shouldn’t you feel the most confident you’ve ever felt? That’s a chat for another day, but the short answer is no. Just because you’re a damn bride, doesn’t mean you’ve sprouted impenetrable confidence overnight. On the contrary–I’ve felt so much pressure to be a perfect version of myself that its crippling. Now during that search, I found nothing of substance that made me feel better. I maybe glossed over a few articles on sites like The Knot on how to “prep” for your try-on day but nothing more holistic or even remotely close to addressing the giant white elephant in the room–that this process is intimidating as all hell.
Questions raced through my mind like, what if they don’t have my size? or what if I’m not even sure what I want? How many dresses is it going to take? How long before my wedding should I get my dress? Am I already behind?
Friends of mine who have gotten married were sweet and recommended shops they all had gone to...but bless their hearts they’re literal Charlie’s Angels when it comes to the looks department and I’m more of an awkward extra floating in the background of the show Freaks and Geeks. No shade.
So I polled my audience on IG. I asked for horror stores, tips on how to have the best experience during wedding dress shopping, favorite body-inclusive bridal brands, and general advice.
tip #1
Go alone, or with a very small intimate group of people you trust
Less is more (people) in the dressing room.
I’m really thankful for this piece of advice. Half of the vibe that shows up that day is the people you bring with you. Tons of folks actually recommended to ditch the “crew” and go alone, which I love. If you do bring people, make sure they respect your personal style, and taste.
tip #2
get playful with it
Especially for your first appointment, try to just have fun with it.
Let your childish enthusiasm come out. Have a drink before, do a few twirls, try on styles you’ve always fantasized about. Come at it from a perspective of playful experimentation rather than scrutiny and pressure to “find something”.
Tip #3
Show Yourself some Love Beforehand
Get a blowout, do your makeup and get a tan.
Walk in feeling like you put some effort into your “look” that day and it will transform your vibe. It’s scientifically proven that if you’re having a good hair day, you simply cannot have a bad day.
tip #4
Inquire about consults
Some boutiques will do consults, usually over the phone or email.
This is a great chance to “vet” a place for their customer service. Usually a great retail experience comes down to the sales associate and their energy, kindness and helpfulness. A great connection with your retail associate will go a long way. This is also a great time to ask and learn about the brands that a boutique stocks.
tip #5
The “this is the one’ moment is bs
Well…kind of.
Don’t go in expecting to get a “this is the one” moment. Instead, shift your mindset to trying on styles that you normally wouldn’t and eliminating looks that don’t work for you. That way, you’ll start to gain an understanding of the cut and style that works best for you. This will help guide you in the direction of your dress.
Tip #6
don’t rule anything out, until you’ve tried it on
This is a slight repeat of the tip above. However, it shocked me the most.
I’m a perfectionist, and like to do my homework. So I was surprised when an astounding number of folks said their wedding dress ended up being one they never would have considered trying on if the sales associated hadn’t suggested it. I assumed I would go in with a “look” that I wanted, then try on 3-4 versions of it and that would be it. Instead, it’s a good idea to branch out and be open to trying on things you normally might pass up, as they might surprise you.
tip #7
The most important one
Let go of finding “the one” and focus on what you feel the most comfortable in.
Focus on what feels good (cliche right?) but this was a resounding theme in most peoples experiences. Once they let go of the “perfection” and “the one” attitude, they were able to relax and chose a dress that they felt comfortable in, that swayed perfectly when they danced, and that made them feel like the sexiest version of themselves.
for inspiration
anwe bridal
ashley graham x pronovias
antibride
carolineripa
louvienne
brother vellies
a&bé bridal
Some other helpful info
Q: How long before my wedding should I find my dress?
A: On average, between 9 - 6 months. If you’re going with “off the rack” it can be closer to the wedding. The tailoring is often what takes the longest time. Tip: choose a boutique that does in house tailoring as this can speed up the process!
Q: How many boutiques should I plan to visit?
A: Try to aim for 2-3 boutiques as you’ll get more diverse options!
Q: How many dresses can i try on in an appointment?
A: IT depends on the boutique, however most appointments last about 1 hour and will let you try on 3-5 dresses.
Q: what was the most unexpected thing you encountered when trying on dresses?
A: to bring my own shoes! Not every place will have shoes for you to try on with your dress.
I was blown away by how little information is out there on wedding dress prep, the process, and more generally–bridal mental health. I feel like this industry is one of the last ones to catch up with the notion of diversity, transparency and inclusion. I would love to keep learning of other resources out there or helpful tips other’s have encountered, so please drop them in the comments!
