A Love Letter to Yourself
I turned 25 this year.
I received my first major promotion this year.
I dedicated myself to this blog and have created a small but growing readership.
I started taking more photographs.
I adopted a dog.
I started a financial growth journey, including paying off debt and creating a growing savings.
I became more politically inspired.
I gained 15 pounds.
I was told no way more times than I was told yes.
I stopped following about 400+ people on social media.
I started being more mindful of my mental health.
I started to learn how to stand up for myself.
& I am committing to cherishing my life, accomplishments, and everyday moments in a more thoughtful way from here on out.
I have never been good at self-love. In fact, I think I learned how to be hyper-critical of myself from a very early age. However, starting this blog has made me more appreciative of life as we know it. I wanted to take a moment to recognize my growth and who I am – and hopefully, this will inspire you to appreciate your tremendous being.
Ever since becoming an adult (whatever that even means anymore), I’ve felt so incredibly fragile. I’ve felt almost as if I might crack at any second – or I might fail around the next corner. These feelings of doubt pretty much began the second I started my first job out of college and have hung around conveniently ever since. Over the years, they’ve evolved and changed a bit, but they’re here nonetheless. It becomes so easy for me to let them take over, and to completely forget how incredible life really is. I know that sounds major cheeseball so forgive me, but its true.
I have never actively sat down and listed out the things that I’ve done that I feel proud of, or even the things I’ve accomplished. They simply come and go – leaving a shadow of the past that requires filling with something newer, greater, the what are you doing next type of thing. This mentality is pretty much drilled into us as we grow up. It’s rare that we get to marinate in moments of simple appreciation for ourselves.
With it being February, the month of love – I thought it fitting to write a post designated to loving and appreciating yourself. There are so many things we do everyday that go unrecognized, and that’s okay. But it’s important to take a moment to really understand how far you’ve come, and how each of those moments in everyday life ladder up on one another to create a simple yet profound feat.
There are SO many things on that list above that traditionally might not be things I’d want to share. However I find it incredibly inspiring when someone opens up about a feat they’ve just overcome, or an obstacle in their life that they’ve been dealing with. Either way, I’m proud of them all. I’m proud of my “progress” and who I’ve grown into. I’d like to tell myself that more often, and I’d like my subconscious to actually listen.
In fact, the other night I had a bit of an epiphany. I was sitting in our living room scrolling through old photos on my iPhone. I said to Jackson,
“Wow - I actually really like myself”, to which he replied, “and you’re just realizing this now?”
Yeah, I was. Now previously, saying something like this would make me gag. I don’t like admitting I like myself to anyone because our society tells us we always need to improve. But the other night it dawned on me that I had been going through life with something I now like to call self-automated cynicism. As moments would go by, I had been greeting them with self-doubt and forms of self-hate that completely overcame any form of personal appreciation or confidence I had. But it was that other night that I had a bit of a breakthrough. Looking back at those moments in photos I was overcome with so much personal gratitude.
By no means is it an easy task to just start loving or appreciating yourself. For me it is still an everyday battle, and I more often than not – doubt myself. But this post is meant to shed light on the fact it’s a journey. It takes work to show yourself even just a single moment of gratitude. However each day we can be a bit kinder to ourselves. We can cherish our beings just a bit more – and we can inspire others to do so too. I empower you to seek and celebrate the ways in which you’ve grown over the last few years. Take a spin through your camera roll, or maybe even take a peek in the mirror. Look around your home. I dare you to look in your “sent” email folder – I’m serious! I’ll bet you’ve sent some pretty important shit over the last few years just being you. And if for any reason, you look at these things and become discouraged or disheartened – try to think about what you’d say to someone else if you were looking through their photos. You’d point out the positive, and appreciate what they have. You’d be kind and loving to them – because that’s who you are. So do that for yourself. Show up for yourself, and honor how you’ve gotten to where you are today.
All my love,
k
