Concept | February
Spring Teasing.
We’ve made it through the longest month of the year! January was a long and somewhat drowning month. I’m so happy to kiss it goodbye and welcome in February. It feels like there might be a slight change in the air coming around here. Perhaps its just me, but I’m so excited for the rain that is forecasted in the coming weeks. Rain is always a sign of cleansing and making new — nourishing the existing and making it even stronger.
Despite my best intentions, I didn’t really take the best care of myself this past month. I’ve been a crazy amount of exhausted - so much so that I can barely peel myself out of bed for my morning workouts (I’ve been skipping most of them). I’ve also felt so drained by the "go go go” of working in a fast pasted workplace. Don’t get me wrong, I love it - but I can tell that I haven’t been in the best headspace and my work has suffered.
Around mid-month, I had one of the worst breakdowns I’ve ever had — I think the term is an “adult meltdown”. If it’s not a term, I’d like to coin that now. Anyway - I think I bit off a bit more than I could chew as the year kicked off and I found myself being my biggest bully. I’m a negative nancy when it comes to myself sometimes, always being overly critical and downright uptight. “Karina, you need to work out today, clean the entire house, buy groceries, meal prep, make sure you look good, save money but buy all the nice things”, yada yada gag me.
You’re not enough, and you’re not doing enough to matter was a phrase that has been playing over and over again in my mind this past month. It all became incredibly suffocating and miserable to be continually trying to live up to my monster-freak expectations. So I decided I needed to start giving myself a bit more credit and room to breathe, or I might never recover. It’s really hard - because in my mind I still need to live up to all of those expectations. And all of this “letting go” and change doesn’t exactly happen overnight. But I know in my gut that I can’t keep up with them, and who could? It’s okay to give yourself room but still work hard and be honest with yourself. I think I could write a whole essay on this but I won’t right now. Maybe another day or time because I think its worth it to discuss the chains we wrap ourselves in sometimes without even realizing it. But this month, I have no crazy expectations. Or at least I’m actively trying to not be a total psycho - which is an improvement?? Anyway - rant / life exposé over.
“Keep taking time for yourself until you’re you again.”
—LALAH DELIA
I’m excited for a few things that are happening this month -
Traveling to our favorite Sonoma escape for a weekend
Visiting with family
A few coastal hikes
I’ll be starting my routine weekend trips to the farmers market again!
More design content - stay tuned!
Happy February!
